Believing

As we continue to wait on our notarized home study to send to immigration, I am having to remind myself of God's faithfulness and goodness.  In December when I was struggling because things weren't working out with the adoption, (This is another story for another blog post, but long story short...adoption was not going to happen from Liberia) I prayed and struggled and prayed and struggled and then God gave me this verse:
Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished. Luke 1:45 So this adoption is not happening in my timing or the way that I envisioned it, and yet I will believe that God will accomplish it.  He is faithful! I was looking back in my journal where I wrote these verses from Lamentations 3:
 The thought of my pain, my homelessness, is bitter poison.
 I think of it constantly, and my spirit is depressed.
 Yet hope returns when I remember this one thing:

 The Lord's unfailing love and mercy still continue,
  Fresh as the morning, as sure as the sunrise.
  The Lord is all I have, and so in him I put my hope.

 The Lord is good to everyone who trusts in him,
 So it is best for us to wait in patience—to wait for him to save us—

This is my reminder that I trust Him...that He is good...that I will wait in patience...that He is all I have, so in Him will I hope.

Waiting and Working

So, this whole adoption process seems to be one where you gather and fill out forms and then you wait...and wait...and wait some more.  The waiting is hard. Things are out of my control and boy do I like to be in control.  Right now, we are still waiting for our home study to be finalized, notarized, and approved by our agency.  Once all that is done, we can send everything to US Immigrations and then guess what...we wait some more.  Yesterday, I decided that I needed to do something toward bringing Miriam home.  I know that in the future Joey and I are going to need certified copies of our birth certificates and marriage license. So, since I was born in Georgia and this is also where we got married, I drove to DeKalb County to the state Vital Records office to get a copy of both.  Now I have already admitted my need for control, so I went very prepared with everything I needed...2 money orders, forms filled out, and identification.  Let's just say that most of the other people there do not have control issues and apparently just take things as they come.  I should have had a clue that this was going to be an interesting experience when I walk in the door and see that there are 2 armed guards.  Instead I greeted them with a cheerful hello which they seemed somewhat surprised about but recovered quickly to point me in the right direction.  As I walked into the room, I quickly assessed that this seemed like a place where people did a lot of waitng.  The line was short but there were lots of people sitting in the rows of chairs waiting for their name to be called.  I got out all the things I needed and got into the line.  At this point another thing that I must admit is that I am incredibly curious about other people's business...some would call that nosy.  Of course, I am listening to all the conversations going on around me. The couple in front of me had 2 young children and they wanted to amend their birth certificates and add the father's name.  I really wanted to ask the mom why she didn't do that when she had her babies, but decided that would not be a good idea.  I made it to the window and turned in my paperwork and money orders and sat down to wait.  The older African American gentleman that I sat next to was tired of waiting so he struck up a conversation with me.  He had been there a loooonnnngggg time and so in bits and pieces he shared his story with me.  The short version is that at his mamma's funeral his wallet and all his id was stolen and now he had his tax return check and wanted to cash it but he didn't have any identification.  This story came with lots of side stories, but ultimately he ended up showing me his check for his tax return.  I told him that this check was for a lot of money and so the wait would eventually be worth it for him.  He seemed to agree.  Then I whipped out my photo album of Miriam and showed him her pictures.  I told him we were adopting this precious little girl, and so my wait would be worth it too...how ever long it was.  He seemed a lttle stunned and we sat in silence for a while.  Then my name was called, and I picked up my paperwork.  This seemed to set him off and he went to the window and yelled back to the ladies in the background and asked if they needed him to come back there and help them.  Luckily at this point I had all I needed so I was able to make a quick exit.  This encounter did help me to remember that the waiting is going to be worth it.  Also, just like the vital records emplyees were working in the background during the wait, God is working while we are waiting.  I trust that and know when our name is called to go and get sweet Miriam, God will have done  the background work.  Just an aside to all my friends that are great writers, I think if you went to vital records and sat there for a week, you could write an amazing book with all the stories of the people that come in and out of there.  I'd read it for sure!

Moving Forward

Hooray!  Our home study has been sent to our agency for approval.  Once they approve it, Joey and I have to read through it and see if any changes need to be made. Then, it is ready to be signed and notarized.  YAY!  We are moving closer to being able to send our dossier to US Immigration.  Sweet Miriam we are moving closer to bringing you home.

Prayers

This week we have been mobilizing an army of prayer support for Miriam and the adoption process.  God has been teaching me a lot about prayer in the past year, and I am sure that I have a lifetime of learning to come on the subject.  There is something mysterious and unexplainable about the way that God breaks into time and space through prayer.  I don’t really understand it, but I know that God asks us to pray and then He answers.  My faith has been built up and encouraged by KNOWING that God hears our prayers and then He actually acts on them.  We can see the evidence of His working in the world.

I made prayer cards with pictures of Miriam and our family with the verse from Jeremiah 29:11 and also included our blog on it too.  This card did not list prayer concerns for her because I trust the Holy Spirit to prompt these friends to pray for things that I might never think of.  Since I have a controlling nature, I certainly have things that I want for Miriam (like for her to be home by October) but mostly, I just want what God wants for her.  I love the next few verses after Jeremiah 29:11, God says, “Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”  God is listening to these prayers on Miriam’s behalf.  This makes me so grateful that my heart wants to explode!!

In Sunday school today, we were talking about relying on the power of God and how little as Americans we really have to do that.  We are self sufficient in so many ways.  Do we really need God?  One thing I know about this adoption journey is that our family cannot do this without the power and presence of God.  Only God can prepare a little girl’s heart who has grown up in the African bush to bond with a family of middle class Americans…only God can put this desire in our hearts to start over when our children are teenagers…only God can move the paperwork through a system of bureaucracy so that Miriam will be home by October.  This is why we are so grateful for our friends and family who are praying for all of us…we need the power of God to be unleashed through prayer.

In the book of James, we hear that the prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.  I would love to be able to see the changes in and around Miriam as our friends pour out their prayers on her behalf.  We know that when we finally meet her, God will have already been doing a work in her because of the prayers of the saints.  Thank you for your prayers.  We have already seen God at work in this process and can’t wait to see all the marvelous things that He is going to do.  We’ll keep you updated!!

We have a referral!!!!!

We have a referral!!! We have known about this for a week or so, but I couldn’t blog about it yet.  I don’t know what the problem was, except that now it is all so real.  This adoption has been an idea in my heart for so long that finally having a picture of a real child caused all kinds of thoughts and emotions to surface.  I think that I have sorted through most of those, and so now with excitement I can tell you that our family knows who Peanut is…a four year old little girl named Miriam.

When we were given the referral, we were given a week to decide if we would say yes to this child.  Suddenly the doubts started filling my head…can we really do this…what if I don’t bond with her…is this the child for us…how do we know?  During that week, I drove my family crazy.  I was the one who initiated the idea of adoption and now I was questioning the whole thing.  My week was filled with praying and thinking and doubting and pondering.    It got to be time to make a decision and I felt paralyzed, so I sent an email to my team of prayer warriors and asked them to pray for God to break through all my thoughts and make His way clear to me.  They showed a lot of self-control by not telling me what to do but only let me know that they were praying.  That afternoon, Jeremiah 29:11 occupied my thoughts: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  I felt like the Lord was saying in my spirit that this was His verse for Miriam and for her life.  For some faith filled people this would be enough, but for a skeptic like me, I needed more.  Joey and I are taking a Perspectives class on Tuesday nights, so I tucked all these thoughts inside and we made our way to class.  For worship that night we sang Aaron Keyes’ song, Sovereign Over Us.  The chorus talks about God’s plan to prosper us and He does not forget us.  Ok, there seems to be a theme here.  I am beginning to get it.  Then, our speaker for the evening was Michelle Ricketts from the organization, She Is Safe.  Her talk was about Jesus redeeming the suffering of vulnerable girls around the globe.  Story after story of God’s redeeming love overcoming obstacles and suffering grew my faith and gave me courage.  I felt like I was hearing God speak to our decision.  We got home late from class, and I decided to check my email before going to bed.  There in my inbox was an email from my sweet friend, Alison.  She and her family were on vacation, but she had checked her email and responded to my request for prayer.  Alison’s precious children, Turner and Parker, were in the Community Bible Study children’s program where I volunteer.  Her email was encouraging and promised to pray, but the response from 6 year old Turner is what gave me all the assurance that I needed.  For encouragement, she told her mom to send me the verse that they have in their kitchen.  Yep, you guessed it…Jeremiah 29:11.  God used a special child in my life to confirm the fact that Miriam was the child He intended for our family.  God is so good and faithful to answer our cries for help.  But what I really love about Him is the tender and personal way He answered this prayer. So, the next day, we said yes and have signed the contracts and written the checks.   Now, we need your prayers as we move forward in the process to bring our new daughter home.

My New Favorite Song

We sang this song by Aaron Keyes in our Perspectives Class last week.  I LOVE IT!  I have bought it on itunes and now sing it over and over again all around our house.  I think about our sweet Peanut and God's plans for our family.

 

Sovereign Over Us 

 

There is strength within the sorrow, There is beauty in our tears

You meet us in our mourning, with a love that casts out fear

You are working in our waiting, sanctifying us

When beyond our understanding, You’re teaching us to trust

 

Your plans are still to prosper, You have not forgotten us

You’re with us in the fire and the flood

Faithful forever, Perfect in love

You are sovereign over us

 

You are wisdom unimagined, Who could understand your ways

Reigning high above the heavens, Reaching down in endless grace

You’re the lifter of the lowly, Compassionate and kind

You surround and you uphold me, Your promises are my delight

 

Your plans are still to prosper, You have not forgotten us

You’re with us in the fire and the flood

Faithful forever, Perfect in love

You are sovereign over us

 

Even what the enemy means for evil

You turn it for our good, You turn it for our good and for Your glory

Even in the valley You are faithful

You’re working for our good, You’re working for our good and for your glory

 

Your plans are still to prosper, You have not forgotten us

You’re with us in the fire and the flood

Faithful forever, Perfect in love

You are sovereign over us

Happy Easter Peanut!

Happy Easter Peanut!  We were thinking about you today and hope that next Easter you will be with us!