Merry Christmas

Miriam and her doll, Baby Miriam, going to church in their matching dresses!

Miriam and Helen got out Helen's Santa outfit from her dancing days and had a lot of fun! Caleb even sat on Santa's lap.

Family matching pajamas is a Christmas Eve tradition in our house.  Miriam loved it!

The girl LOVES her sparkles!

The day is guaranteed to be a good one when you are wearing your silver pants!

Photos

Miriam has been at our house for a month now.  She is having lots of fun (most of the time)!  Here are some photos of things we have been doing:

Miriam loves to cook.  We have made cake, muffins, soup, but the favorite is Hello Kitty pancakes.

Bathtime is still a favorite.  Papa was out of town and Miriam convinced Mama to let her wear her bathing suit in the bathtub.  The above pic is washing her hair and letting the conditioner sit.  Miriam is sitting next to me and says to tell you...Miriam olingi asukoli...Miriam loves to wash.

Miriam discovered bubble wrap and thinks it is great fun!  She likes sitting in the box and popping the bubbles.

Miriam had her first play date and thought it was great fun!  The friends played dress-up, Barbies, dolls, and ran around outside.

The joys of jumping on the bed...mama's bed is even better because it is bigger!

Playing outside on a day warm enough to wear summer clothes makes Miriam very happy!

Miriam is exploring all her art supplies.  This day she painted a sheet of every color in her paint set.

Miriam gets to participate in some of Helen's school projects.  She has been videotaped for a braodcasting project.  Here she is helping with a physics project.

Was this it?

We have been waiting...holding our breath...hoping it wouldn't come...wondering with each tantrum...is this it? From reading other people's blogs and books, we've seen that the weeks of adjusting to new language, food, weather, people, environment, etc culminate in a gigantic, epic tantrum.  So far, we have had some meltdowns and some withdrawal, but nothing that a little loving, holding, and singing couldn't calm.  I should have seen it coming...yesterday morning we went to CBS together.  Miriam had so much fun singing and playing. BUT it was all so new and when we got home the struggle to make sense of it all began.  Our schedule was disrupted and so during the rest of the day, there were tears and some laying on the floor and refusing to talk.  But it was at bedtime that the BIG ONE began...it all had to do with not coming to take a bath when called...and not coming on the second chance...and refusing when given one more chance...and then she realized that meant no bath.  The tears began to flow.  We held...we hugged...we sang...we rubbed...we talked...we loved.  The tears turned into gut wrenching sobs.  All our hearts were breaking...Miriam's over all the changes in her little life...ours over the sadness and suffering that were pouring out of her.  This went on and on and on then turned into a manic phase with laughter, tickling, and kisses (Miriam doing all that to Joey and me)  then back into tears then back into restless squirming and moving.  This whole ordeal took about 3 hours.  It was exhausting for all of us.  I was hoping for a good night's sleep as a result of all of this, but no luck...at 4:00 am I heard the pounding of little feet into our bedroom.  Hopefully this was the fit we have been dreading and now we have turned a corner.,,maybe...maybe not...only time will tell.

Jesus loves me!

Miriam and I went to the grocery store this morning because we were out of half and half...which could be classified as a minor emergency.  On the way, we were listening to our favorite song...Jesus loves me.  Miriam said, "Mama, me...Miriam. Jesus loves me. Jesus loves Miriam."  Hallelujah!  I am thanking God for this moment and the way He is working on her precious heart!

One Month

This past Thursday, we celebrated Miriam being with our family for one month.  It is hard for me to believe it is just a month ago that Joey and I walked up the hill, rounded the corner and walked through the metal gate of the orphanage to meet our daughter.  The little girl that met us at the gate is not the same girl that fills our home with laughter, chatter, and tears.  When we first held Miriam in our arms, she did not know how to be held.  Her legs stuck out straight, so we had to hold her in a kind of cradle hold with her legs sticking out to the side.  Now, the girl knows how to melt her body into ours and loves to be held and carried around the house. 

 When we first met Miriam, she was shy and reluctant to speak.  We had to coax her to talk with us and to smile.  Now, Miriam loves to sing, talk, and tease all of us.  She is a big fan of poop jokes…which she tells mostly on Caleb.  Her English improves every day and the phrase of the day makes us laugh and celebrate with her…yesterday was, “If you give a moof (moose) a muffin”…today was, “Hello, howa (how are) you again.”  We also had a little breakthrough today when Miriam was willing to say why she was upset…she forgot her sunglasses and then again when she wanted to read one more book before bed.  Usually, she just shuts down and either cries or won’t talk. When we first met Miriam, we were strangers to her…and now we are just strange. HAHAHA!  Really, now she is fitting into our family.  She is attaching well to her Mama and Papa…giving big hugs and lots of kisses…and an occasional zerbert.  She loves to tease and play with Caleb and Helen…and occasionally fight, talk back, and beat up.

A ton has happened in the weeks that we have been home.  I think about blog posts every day, but by the time a spare minute rolls around, I am so tired that all I want to do is go to bed…or watch Duck Dynasty.   Here are a few things that have happened…or thoughts that I have had:

We went to the doctor…twice.  The first visit was just a visit to check her out and see how she was doing.  Dr. Jackson wanted the first visit to be a painless one.  We think that Miriam is older than 4…or perhaps she’s a genius…so we had a bone scan of her hand to see how old she might be.  The results came back this week and said she is 5.  We are also going to take her to the dentist to have them look at her teeth and give us a guess on her age. Her second visit came with shots and a blood draw.  Apparently she has had shots before because when she saw them, the wailing began.  For some reason, the blood draw was less traumatic for her, but more for me…I wondered if she had any blood left in her little body.

Another thing we did was attempt to have some family photos taken.  As we looked around our house, we decided we needed to quickly get up some photos of all of us together.  These went pretty well.  We made a trip to Gymboree to pick out an outfit for the photos.  Miriam is very particular about her clothes…which I think goes back to what they wore at the orphanage.  She picked out a jean skirt that she loved, so she was pretty happy to get dressed for the pictures.

Miriam is adjusting well to our family…BUT that doesn’t mean that it is easy.  We are all getting used to having a little one in the house again after having independent teenagers.  Bonding and attachment takes a lot of time and even more energy.  Expectations of how things should be have to be laid aside and replaced with how things are.  It can be tricky helping all the kids navigate the sibling relationship and giving them the attention that each one needs.  I am cooking enormous quantities of rice…because the girl LOVES her rice and will eat most anything else I cook if I pair it with rice.    My house is a disaster and there is stuff everywhere and I think my brain has shut down…complete thoughts are rare.  Despite all these difficult things, we are exactly where God wants us to be.  It just feels right.  We know that we were meant for each other, and can daily see the way that God is knitting our family together.

Here are a few things that I am loving right now:

Miriam loves to pray (cosumbella) and demands that no one eats before we pray at mealtime.  She also prays before bed and then again whenever she feels like it.  At first, she recited a prayer in Lingala but now she talks to God in English and mostly thanks Him for whatever is on her mind.

Miriam loves to read books when she first gets up in the morning and then again at bedtime.  She has memorized Brown Bear, Brown Bear and it is so cute to hear her recite it in her Congolese accent.  I LOVE IT!  Her other favorite right now is The Runaway Bunny.

Miriam loves to sing and is learning lots of songs.  Her favorite right now is Jesus loves me.  She asks for it every time we get in the car.  Her eyes get big and she does this funny little dance.  Then she sings along with the CD really loudly.

I know this post is disjointed...but it just represents the way my brain is working lately.  Here are a few final photos of the things we have been doing lately:

Getting to be better and better friends with Mazie

Decorating the tree and putting all the ornaments in one spot

Going on a family hike

Raking and playing in the leaves

Riding in the car

Riding on the lawn mower with Papa

Photos of the Crazy Girl!

I (Helen) am doing a post for Mom while she is taking care of my sassy, crazy cute sister! While Miriam might smile perfectly and look super photogenic in her pictures on facebook and the blog, she has a wild side too! She has some pretty funny facial expressions, and we have captured some of them! Here are my top 7 crazy photos of Miriam-the wild child:

Hair

Since this afternoon was kind of gray...and Helen was home...and Miriam kept looking at me like I didn't know what I was doing when I would pick her afro...I decided to make my first attempt at styling African hair.  Her hair has been one of the things I have fretted over the most...taking care of it...what products to use...making sure it looked appropriate when we went out.  I have done lots of research.  There is a fantastic website called Chocolate Hair/Vanilla Care that has been really helpful...but also can be a bit overwhelming.  A friend came over and gave me a quick tutorial before we left for DRC.  Also, I had friends asking their friends and received some great products and good advice before I left.  Since we have been home, I have been feeling a bit more confident as I put product in and detangled and fluffed Miriam's cute little afro.  The other day, I was reading a blog from a family who adopted another little girl from Miriam's same orphanage.  This mom did some flat row twists(I think that is what it is called) on her daughter's hair.  She referenced a youtube video...which Helen and I promptly watched.  I thought...maybe just maybe I could pull this off.  So, armed with lots of hair product, assorted combs, clips, and nimble fingers, I set to work.  It took me almost one and a half hours to complete this look.  It is not perfect and as I type this I can see it is already coming out, but Miriam likes it.  Here are a few photos of the finished product.

Home A Week

Well, we have been home a week...and what a week it has been!  It has been...a good week...an intense week...a hard week...an exhausting week...BUT not a bad week.  God is good.  I am seeing answered prayers minute by minute.  All those prayers for the sweet heart of Miriam to be able to attach to her family laid a foundation before we even met her in the DRC and they continue to be answered as we spend time with her at home.  God is knitting our family together.  All of us are trying to be intentional in helping Miriam adapt and attach and become a member of our family.  Caleb and Helen are doing a great job in playing and teasing with Miriam, but then stepping back and allowing Mama and Papa to meet her needs.  Both of them have been so helpful in running errands, helping with household tasks, and being flexible.  Miriam (and Joey and Kerry) are going to enjoy having them home this week.  Miriam loves her Papa.  She thinks he is really funny and loves for him to play horse (cheval) with her.  He gets her bath water just right.  Miriam  likes to ride in the motorcar with Papa to take Helen to class.  Miriam is also attaching well to me...actually we seem to be physically attached.  She wants me to carry her everywhere...which I am happy to do.  So far my back has held up to carrying a 40 pound sweetie around the house.  At mealtimes, she wants to sit very close to me (our chairs touch).  When I am not in her sight, she needs to know where I am...when Joey has given me a break to go take a nap, I can hear them sneak in the room to look at me.  Miriam has also become comfortable enough to assert herself with us.  She can throw a good fit complete with rolling around and crying when she doesn't want to do something.  This precious little one wants to be in control of things...she has been a mama to the smaller ones at her orphanage...we are working on lovingly teaching her that now mama and papa are in control and she can just be a little girl. 

Here are some photos from this week:

We are trying to have a schedule around our house.  It seems to help Miriam know what to expect.  After we get Helen and Caleb off to school.  Joey and I take her on a walk.  It is cold to her so we wrap her up in her blanket.  She doesn't especially love the walk, but Mazie does and it does Mama and Papa some good.

Sometimes, it is hard for adopted children to get used to the pets in the house, but Mazie and Miriam have become good friends.  Mazie likes having Miriam here because she gets to go on a walk everyday and Miriam drops lots of food when she eats.  Miriam loves playing with Mazie and tells her Mazie Ma(here) most of the day.

Mama is working hard on learning all about Miriam's beautiful hair.  Miriam loves to have beautiful things in her hair.  When you haven't had anything to put in your hair, why not put in three different things?

Yesterday was such a beautiful day, we decided to take Miriam to a playground.  We knew of one that wouldn't have anybody there, so we loaded up the family and headed out for some play time.  Miriam loved it...especially the slide.  She ran and played and laughed and when she was done and ready to go home, she let us know.

Miriam likes to help around the house.  Here she is setting the table.  We had the vacuum out yesterday and she was very curious about how it worked and what it did.  I showed her and we vacuumed her room.

As we adjust, I hope to be able to update more.  Maybe Helen will get on and add a video or two.  Thanks for your prayers and support.  We are grateful!