Operation Lice

Sorry for the randomness of these posts.  Our internet service is on a dial up connection and I could never get a picture and blog posted yesterday afternoon.

Day 3 will be known for 3 things – lice, first African girl hair experience, and a sad visit.

Lice – Miriam has them and now so do Kerry and I.  We didn’t even think to bring some anti-lice shampoo and treatment with us.  My first visit to the pharmacy and trying to order some treatment while speaking in French resulted in me buying a very expensive bottle of shampoo that does a nice job with anti-dandruff but does nothing for lice. Another try at the pharmacy got us the treatment we needed. Chemicals or hot water are the best ways to kill lice.  There is no hot water in the room so we used a hot pot to boil 1 liter of water of time to wash our clothes and sheets in a bucket in the shower.  The boy scout in me at least helped me remember to bring a lot of twine that we are using as a clothes line.  After our clothes and sheets were treated, we sprayed the treatment in our hair.  We had to leave the treatment in our hair for 10 minutes and then wash it out with regular shampoo.

First hair experience – Miriam’s hair was fixed in what we call “poofs” but to apply the anti-lice treatment, we have to wash her hair.  This we is the “royal” we because Kerry is doing all the work.  I am just watching and taking photos of her.  Before we can wash her hair we have to remove the “poofs” by untying all the thread that ties up the “poofs”.  Thankfully, Miriam sat very patiently, because this process took over an hour.  Kerry applied enough grease to Miriam’s hair to rival the Gerry Curl episode in the movie Coming to America (some of you will get that reference).  Now Miriam has the cutest little afro.

Sad visit – This afternoon the three of us took a ride with Papa John over to the new orphanage where the kids at ZAPE were moved to.  After arriving at the orphanage, Miriam became very upset and started crying.  She thought we were bringing her back.  How traumatic for our little girl.  Of course, when Miriam started crying, the mother -instinct in Kerry kicked into overdrive.  We left after just a few photos of her friends and you can believe Kerry and Miriam won’t be going back again.  Once we pulled back into the hotel parking lot, Miriam realized she was staying with us and let out a big laugh.  The rest of the afternoon and evening, she has really come out of her shell and is talking and teasing and laughing.

 

  

 

New things

We had a good night last night…except for the crappy dinner Mama gave Miriam.  I tried to fix a chicken and rice meal…yuck.  Then I made some cream of wheat…she wouldn’t even try it.  So, I pulled out her favorite snack…the ever nutritious and delicious…Slim Jim.  Miriam had Slim Jims, peanuts and chocolate from trail mix, and a granola bar.  Who knows what she was thinking!  Today we are going to do better.  We signed up for lunch at the hotel and are going to go out for dinner.  After eating, she brushed her teeth with Papa and put on her PJ’s.  We read and played Ipad.  When we told her it was time to go lala (sleep), she laid down and closed her eyes and went to sleep.  We only have one bed in our room, so she slept between us.  Miriam moves around A LOT while she sleeps.  We were a little battered and bruised this morning, but glad that she slept all night long.  This morning she had a good breakfast…peanut butter toast, bacon, and apple.  She jumped rope for a while, and then we walked to the market to buy some water and bananas.  Now she is outside playing with some of the other children who are here at the hotel.

Some of the things we are learning about Miriam:

Miriam loves anything with peanuts.

Reading books is one of her favorite things to do. She grabs them every time we are in the room…Do you know how much I love this?!?

So far, Miriam is very quiet.  She tells me kosuba when she has to go potty, but besides that she doesn’t talk much. We have gotten some smiles out of her though.

Miriam is also pretty compliant at this point, although she did tell us no when it was time to go to bed.  She seems to be up for trying new things and having new experiences.

No longer waiting on Peanut

Do not be afraid…your prayer has been heard. .. Luke 1:13 God has heard and answered our prayer. We picked up our sweet Miriam today. We had about an hour drive and then a short walk to the orphanage. They opened the gate and as I rounded the corner, my eyes went straight to Miriam. She ran over to me and all the kids followed her, but she got to me first. I knelt down and hugged her. I was carrying about 40 bananas so I put them down and picked her up. Then Joey got a chance to hold and hug her. Later, we will blog more about our time at the orphanage, so here is the condensed version. Miriam was sad and cried when we left, so I carried her out. She is so big and not used to being carried so when we got a little ways, I put her down to walk. Once we got in the car, we got out some lift the flap books and were able to entertain her for a while. She then sat on my lap for the rest of the trip. She left the car well. We have done a lot in our short time together…a shower, book reading, ipad playing, playing outside with a beach ball, a nap, and coloring. Thank you for all your prayers. Continue to pray for her as she adjusts to us especially tonight. We will update you again soon.

More importantly, here are some pictures of the day.

Kerry getting some first hugs from Miriam and being surrounded by the other kids.

 

Kerry walking with Miriam and leaving the ZAPE orphanage.

Here is Miriam playing a game of catch. Caleb will be happy to know that Miriam can already throw a curve ball.

Miriam with her drinky-drink – a Fanta!

In the Congo!

After a little more than 31 hours from leaving our house inTyrone, we made it to the Congo! It was too late and I was too tired to post an update last night, so it is now " Get Miriam Day" and we are waiting for Papa John to take us to the orphanage. Here are a few of my scattered thoughts about the past couple of days.

What a full day it was yesterday! Kerry said that yesterday felt like a 31 hour labor to give birth today.

We had an additional joy yesterday when another stop was added to our itinerary. In addition to stops in Washington DC and Brussels, we also stopped in Luanda Angola. More of that story to follow later.

One of my favorite things about traveling to Africa, is when the plane lands, the entire plane (almost) breaks out into a loud round of applause. Some say the applause is for the pilot and crew, but I heard the women praising God in Portuguese, so I know the glory goes to God for safe travel.

In the Brussels airport, we had a conversation with a Liberian man getting ready to go back to Liberia for the holidays. When we told him we were going to Kinshasa, he asked us, "Kinshasa is a war zone, why are you going there?" Of course, I couldn't get over the fact that a Liberian was telling us that another country is a war zone.

I just love the chaos and energy of an African airport, especially in the middle of the night with 300 people trying to clear customs and gather an enormous amount of luggage off the single slow moving baggage carousel.

Among all the anxiety, anticipation, joy, and fear - God spoke to me by asking, " Do you really believe I am who I say I Am?" The first few verses of Psalm 86 came to my mind - Hear my prayer and answer me of I am poor and needy. Guard my life for I am wholly devoted to you. You are my God and it is in You I place my trust -- God is answering our prayers.

More to come soon...

Welcoming Miriam Home Letter

Dear Family & Friends,

After many months of waiting, our precious Miriam is finally coming home! We know that each of you reading this letter has, in some way, supported, loved and prayed for us. Because we know your care for Miriam and our family, we want to share with you some information we hope will best equip everyone around her to assist us in laying the strongest and healthiest foundation - emotionally, physically and spiritually.

In many ways, Miriam will be like a child who entered our family through birth.  We will parent her like we did Caleb and Helen in the instruction and discipline of the Lord. But there will be a few, initial differences. During this time of preparation, we have researched bonding and attachment in children, especially those coming home through adoption from an institutional orphanage setting.

We are confident of this: God's design is PERFECT! His plan for parents and children is a beautiful and meaningful picture of His love for us. Attachment between a parent and child occurs over time when a baby has a physical or emotional need and communicates that need. The primary caretaker meets the need and soothes the child. This repeats between a parent and child over and over to create trust within the child for that parent; the baby is hungry, cries in distress, mom nurses & calms the baby - which teaches her that this person is safe and can be trusted. By God's very design, an emotional foundation is laid in the tiniest of babies, which will affect their learning, conscience, growth and future relationships. The security provided by parents will, ultimately, give children a trust for and empathy towards others.

Children who come home through adoption have experienced interruptions in this typical attachment process. The loss of a biological mother at an early age can be a major trauma on their little hearts. The good news is that we can now, as Miriam's parents and forever family, rebuild attachment and help her heal from these emotional wounds. When Miriam comes home, she will be overwhelmed. Everything around her will be new and she will need to learn not just about her new environment, but also about love and family. She has not experienced God's design for a family in an orphanage setting. The best way for us to form a parent/child bond is to be the ones to hold, snuggle, instruct, soothe and feed her. As this repeats between us, she will be able to learn that parents are safe to trust and to love deeply. We are, essentially, recreating the newborn/parent connection. Once Miriam starts to establish this important bond, she will then be able to branch out to other, healthy relationships.

Miriam will have, what may seem like, a lot of structure, boundaries and close proximity to us. Please know that these decisions are prayerfully and thoughtfully made choices based on immense amounts of research and instruction from trusted adoption mentors. We will be doing what we believe is best to help her heal from those interruptions in attachment as effectively as possible. Why are we telling you all of this? Because you will actually play an awesome and vital role in helping our Miriam settle in, heal, and lay a foundation for the future. There are a few areas in which you can help us:

The first is to set physical boundaries. It will help us immensely if adults limit what is typically considered normal, physical contact with Miriam. This will (for a while) include things like touching, holding, excessive hugging and kissing. Children from orphanage settings are prone to attach too easily to anyone and everyone - which hinders the important, primary relationship with parents. Waving, blowing kisses or high fives are perfectly appropriate and welcomed! Miriam should know that the people with whom she interacts are our trusted friends.

Another area is redirecting Miriam's desire to have her physical and emotional needs met by anyone (including strangers) to having us meet them. Orphans often have so many caretakers that they, as a survival mechanism, become overly charming toward all adults. A child struggling to learn to attach may exhibit indiscriminate affection with people outside of their family unit. It may appear harmless and as if they are "very friendly" but this is actually quite dangerous for the child. To share this is difficult for us because we have cared for, fed and loved so many of your children. Please understand that we want nothing more than to have Miriam hugged, cuddled and cherished by ALL of you. But until she has a firm understanding of family and primary attachments, we would be so grateful if you direct her to us if you see that she is seeking out food, affection or comfort.

We are incredibly blessed to have so many loved ones around us. We couldn't ask for a better extended family & circle of friends for our precious Miriam. Thank you so much for your love and support. If you have any questions please feel free to ask at any time!

We are grateful for your support,

Kerry and Joey

Happy Birthday Miriam (yesterday)

Yesterday was Miriam’s birthday.  It was a little overwhelming to me,  so I just could not write a post. BUT today is a new day! Being so far apart from each other on this special day makes my heart ache.  I don’t know if she even knew it was her birthday.  BUT I knew and my sweet friends here knew and it was good.  The precious friends in my bible study sang Happy Birthday to her as I tried not to melt into a crying mess.  I celebrated by taking two of my 4 and 5 year old friends to McDonalds and playing Barbies and dress-up.   She had lots of well-wishers on Facebook.  My Barnabas (whose real name is Alison, thank goodness) sent beautiful flowers to celebrate the day.

  Miriam does not yet know that she is loved and celebrated by all our family and friends, but I do!  This day caused me to think about the hopes and dreams I have for her this year.  Here are a few:

I hope that Miriam’s heart can begin to understand and accept the love of a forever family and that we can minister to her in ways that speak to her heart.

I hope that she grows in wisdom, stature, and favor with God and man.

I hope that she starts to believe all the things that the Lord says about her…she is beautiful, she is beloved, she is accepted, she is made new, and on and on and on.

I hope that she will know that she is fearfully and wonderfully made…and the plans the Lord has for her are good and are to prosper her and not to harm her…to give her a hope and a future.

I hope that while there will certainly be tears that there will also be much laughter and joy in her life with us…the joy of the Lord will be the strength of our family.

Happy Birthday Beautiful Girl!  You are loved!  We celebrate who God has created you to be!

Consulate Appointment

Our family was excited to wake up this morning and receive an email that told us Miriam has already been to her consulate appointment today. Hooray!  Now to pray that her visa gets processed with no delays.  Counting down the days!!

Prophetic Word

Today I went to pick up my basket of fruits and veggies from the co-op I belong to.  The kindergarten aged daughter was waiting for me in the garage to help me with my pick-up.  I got my basket and explained to her that I was not going to leave a check because the next time I would be gone to pick up Miriam from Africa.  She nodded her head and then said to me, " I have to tell you something about adoption."  I wanted to hear her words of wisdom because she has experienced adoption in her family.  "What would you like to tell me?", I asked.  "Adoption is hard. You will probably cry."  I think I just had a 5 year old speak a prophetic word over me.  The kleenex are definitely getting packed in the carry-on.

We bought tickets!

It is official...we are going to the DRC.  We bought our tickets and are leaving on October 27th.  HOORAY! The countdown has started!

Visa Pictures

So, Miriam needs a visa to be allowed into the USA. Joey and I need a visa to be allowed into the DRC.  Yesterday my task was to get my visa photos taken.  This would seem to be an easy task, but everything in the adoption process takes longer than one would think.  I started at the Rite Aid and after much discussion and going back and forth, it was decided that their camera was broken.  Then, I moved on to the closest CVS and the kind lady there said yes they could do it but a customer had just started printing out 400 photos so it would be a while.  Who stands there and prints out 400 photos? So, I came home for a while and went back to CVS.  This time the machine was free.  Hooray!  The CVS worker was kind and helpful and really wanted me to get a good picture for my visa...which took a while.  She would look at her camera and say...Hmmm nope not this one...and we would try again.  Finally, we got a decent one...at least it looks like me.  Joey already has his, so it is time to file for our visa.  Moving closer!

Consulate Appointments

Miriam now has her appointments at the US Consulate.  Her paperwork has to be there on October 18th, and she has to be there on October 22nd.  I am praying for courage for her as she is interviewed at the consulate.  The US government wants to make sure she understands what is happening to her (as best as a 4 year old can understand) and also to verify that she is truly an orphan.  While this just makes the process even longer, I am grateful that our government takes an interest in protecting these vulnerable children and puts safeguards in place for them.  I am hoping to post soon that we are cleared for travel!

Hallelujah!

FINALLY!  After days, weeks, and even months of checking the mailbox for our Immigration approval, it came today! YAY!  Now we are on to the next step of getting an embassy appointment for our sweet Miriam.